redeemed.

A young brown haired, hazel eyed girl takes out her crayons and begins to write a sign to be hung up...but its not for something an everyday 7 year old girl would be trying to find, like a dog or a lost bracelet. It is something much more important. It's her own father, who went missing 3 days before. No calls, no notes, no scent left to find him. Now tears, worries, and frantic calls surround and buzz around the apartment that she lives in with her family. They were one of only two white families in the neighborhood. The diversity that gave those city blocks life-giving breath was the same diversity that she would come to love in the future. It allowed for tasty foods from far away countries, new words, and different looking friends that caused color blindness. That same melting pot was drenched with crime infestation, gun shots, addictions, and days of not being able to play with those different looking friends though. The latter is what caused the girl's father to leave his family behind. It was too strong to fight. He couldn't do it. It had begun to overtake him. No more family, no more job, no more him. Only the drugs. His eyes were set on one thing and he was willing to do whatever it would take to get them, even if it meant leaving his family behind. He wasn't the father he should have been. His attention was split. His cares placed elsewhere. He wasn't there. The fleshly desires of the world were creeping into this tiny apartment like fumes...through the cracks in the walls and under the door. It wanted to overtake and capture each person left in there. The little girl took her crayon colored sign to her sobbing Mommy to hang up. She wanted to find her Daddy.

A few long and weary days later, he came back...red eyed and irritable. The family couldn't take anymore of this. How much longer could they go on hiding secrets and suffering in this way? Thus began the years in and out of rehab and safe houses. Relapses and remissions. Moves out of the melting pot to try and help fight temptation. During this roller coaster, the little girl met a special someone. She was not too fond of him in the beginning. He was different than how she had known him before. She began to fall in love with him though. He began to capture her heart. He was her first love. He caused a separation in her family. Not every person liked him. She didn't care though.

Fast forward 8 years later, everything seemed to be more status quo. The sweet and sassy little 7 year old was now growing into a beautiful 15 year old. Everything seemed more normal, or so it was thought. One early summer day in June, the teenage girl, her brother, and mom went out. The girl walked into her living room and saw a white piece of paper hanging on the TV. It was from her father. It talked about how he loved the family, but that he could not be with them anymore. He wanted to go find himself. Screams and wails left the young girl's mouth. Mom knew right away what it was. Their world as they knew it, was about to turn upside down. Where would they live? How would they eat? Who would love them? The fumes of the world tried to come into their house again, just like it tried years before, or maybe they had left with the bags carried out by the girl's father that morning as he drove off. That was the last the girl would see of her father for a while.

The world says this little girl has few choices now. Her father is gone and has not been there. She will live on the street. She will abuse drugs. She will become pregnant. She will find her worth and identity in men. She will leave her family and divorce. She will fail in school. She won't accomplish anything of worth. She is worthless.

But...
The world was wrong. She does have a Daddy. She found Him. She wanted to find Him when she was making her sign. He wasn't really lost though. She just couldn't see Him then. He was there the whole time. She found Him years later. He was the man that not everyone liked. He was her first love, the one that captured her heart. When daddy left, she didn't have to worry because she knew she still had DADDY. He had chosen her. He had promised her. He had redeemed her. He had loved her. He had formed her.

The world might say on thing. But this girl knew that her Daddy said another. He told her that she had a future and a hope. She would prosper and be blessed. She would be fed and clothed. Every need would be supplied for. She would be rejoiced and sang over. She would never be left or forsaken. She would have a beautiful inheritance. She would be His vessel and used for His purposes. She would accomplish great things. She was a worthy woman created for His glory. She was worth it all.

This girl had been redeemed. He wanted to save her from evil and sin.
The world had tried to seep in through those cracks and windows, but something was stopping it each time. A person more powerful than any other was keeping it back. That person wouldn't let anything touch the little girl. His blood is what would save her. He would suffer and die for her. He would be raised from the dead and enter glory to sit at the right hand of His Father for her.

He was there. He never left. He was her DADDY.

What's your story? Look back and see how you are not who you "should" be. The Lord has redeemed you and made you His.
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are MINE." -Isaiah 43:1b

the rock won't move

Imagine it. You find yourself on top of a beautiful hill of sparkling sand that you piled together of dreams, desires, and hopes while overlooking the beautiful sea. As you stand there, your footing seems a little unstable, but you are still standing feeling as if can achieve anything and overcome everything with a victorious result. As sand crumbles and moves beneath your feet, you catch yourself and stand back up. You’re still standing strong. Then, out of nowhere, comes a light breeze, which quickly becomes a Chicago style, skirt raising, hair in your face sort of wind. By this point, not only are your feet sinking, but your body is swaying from side to side being tossed to and fro by the movement of the wind. You struggle to stand strong and steadfast. As you grasp around trying to help yourself, it becomes tiring and is starting to feel like an uphill battle. As you try to stand back up, the wind picks up. You look out. Huge waves are approaching. You don’t even have time to brace yourself. The waves come crashing in all around you. The strength of the storm is too much to bear. It not only wipes your hill to nothing, but now you find yourself gasping and trying to keep your head above the water. Your world, dreams, and desires are washing out to sea. The waves are all around you. It’s all you can see. Fear has not only crept in, but overtaken you. You look around. There is no one around to help you. You feel alone. Tears begin to stream from your eyes. You are desperate. Your body is losing strength. You are not sure how long you will be able to survive. It’s getting dark. As you try to stay afloat, your eyes catch a rocky shore in the distance. Your eyes look up and you find yourself pleading with everything that is left in you, “Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer, from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.”

Let’s stop our story right there.

We’re all fooling ourselves if we try to believe that we were never that person standing on the sand. The question isn’t whether you have found yourself in that place, but rather how long have you been trying to stand on a crumbly foundation? How many crashing waves is it going to take for you to realize that you cannot stand anymore on your own shaky foundation? The waves of financial instability, relationship issues, insecurities, medical news….the list could go on. It’s not “if”, it’s going to happen…it’s “when” it’s going to happen. We live in a sinful broken world that is decaying more each day.

I have been and at times continue with my struggle of trying to stand on my own foundation, that is only built of sand….or in other words, all the things that I find my identity in….my job, my appearance, my gifts and talents, my personality, my hopes, my dreams, my church, my friends and the people I know, and the opposite sex. Maybe you find yourself in the same place as me? Or maybe it’s something else? Name it. We want to be known and recognized. If you dig deep enough, you’ll find an area that you seem to cling to and find security in. We all do.

I had to learn the hard way this year. I had built my foundation alright, but not the way it was meant to be built. The waves of insecurities, heartbreak, health issues, fears, financial instability, weariness in ministry, anxiety, and depression came crashing in one after the other. I felt like I was being swallowed up whole and was going to drown. Darkness was hiding His face. I’m not even going to say that the waves are fully gone, but I found my eyes looking up to Heaven in my distress crying out,

“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer, from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.”

I knew He was waiting for me.

Loved One….He heard. And He hears you. He did not let me continue sinking. He pulled me out with His great and mighty strong hands. He led me to the Rock that was greater. He not only led me there, but stood me up on the Rock. He whispered in my ear, “You are mine, because of what my Son did for you on the cross. I am enough. I am all you need. I am your salvation. I am never changing. I do not move. I am faithful. I will never leave you. And I…am your Rock.”

I stood up steadfast and strong on my Rock. When I stood up, the waves didn’t go away. They were still there, but this time, as they came crashing in. I didn’t slip or sink. When darkness seemed to hide Him, I rested on who He said He was and His promises. I looked out at the sea before me and could sing wholeheartedly, “On Christ the solid rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. The Rock won’t move. And when darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace. The Rock won’t move.”

You can sing that, too. Call out to Him. Surrender that shaky foundation that you find yourself trying to stand on. Stand on the Rock of Your Salvation, that is NEVER moving.

“There is none holy like the Lord; for there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.” (1 Sam 2:22)

my anchor.

anchor: 1. : a device usually of metal attached to a ship or boat by a cable and cast overboard to hold it in a particular place by means of a fluke that digs into the bottom 2: a reliable or principal support 3: something that serves to hold an object firmly

Storms will come. They are inevitable. Some are light. Some are strong. They can last a few short minutes or others make you wonder if you will ever feel the calm again. A boat can find itself in danger amidst these storms. They have one necessary and vital item though that they carry…

Every boat has an anchor. The purpose of an anchor is to help the vessel stay in place and prevent it from drifting due to the conditions that surround it. The boat could easily be tossed to and fro by the waves and winds that encompass it, but this somewhat small object is used to hold this huge vessel in place. There is something to be said about “there’s more here, than meets the eye.” An anchor can be quite small, but don’t be fooled…this little object weighs much and does not need help from anyone or anything else.

Imagine now that you are a boat. I know, difficult to do, but trust me on this. And lo and behold, you find yourself right now in your own storm. Hard to imagine right? Let’s be honest…Right now, you are either in a storm, or one is on the way. Remember, they are inevitable.

What are the waves that you find crashing at your sides? What are the clashing and thunderous sounds you hear ringing in your ears? What are the black clouds that seem to surround you?

Is it insecurity or doubt? Is it a health crisis or a death? Is it a breakup or let down? Is it a financial setback or job loss? Is it fear or anxiety?

It is dark. It is terrifying. It feels as if you will never see the light again.

But you my dear friend, have an anchor. It is called hope. It is “sure and steadfast.” This anchor is secure. It is secure because it is dug into something far more firm than we can ever imagine. We call that something Jesus Christ. We have this hope, because of what Christ did on the cross. He is our High Priest. As followers of Christ, we can now enter into the veil, the most Holy of Holies and be surrounded with His overwhelming and loving presence.

His veil is a place where we can rest in Him and have hope in His promises. His promises are endless. He will meet our needs, He will give us the victory, He will give us a future, He will provide a peace that surpasses understanding, He will lavish us in a love that is unconditional, and He will pour out abundant grace on us….but most of all He promises that “for those who love God, all things work together for good.”

The storm will end. There will be a calm. He promises it. And until it does, you have to do your part…throw your anchor down and remember that “yours holds within the veil.”

Hebrews 6:18-20: “So that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.”

our maker.

“lover of my soul. healer of my scars.you steady my heart” (kari jobe)

I was able to read the book "You Are Special" to my students this past week and always enjoy reading it to them. In a few sentences, it’s about a group of wooden dolls that stereotype each other into categories, one being the better one than the other. The dolls that go into the better category are beautiful and have no scars or scrapes. There is one doll named Punchinello that becomes discouraged, because he does not fall into that category. He feels ugly, because he has scars and scrapes. A seemingly different doll comes to him and tells him that he can be different like her, but that he needs to go see his Maker. Punchinello visits His Maker. His Maker tells him that he is special and perfect just the way he created him to be. His Maker loves him and will heal him. Punchinello can be different from the other dolls; he just has to trust and believe what his Maker has told him.

As I try and explain the analogies of this book to the kids, I still continue to have my own heart penetrated with the reminder of its simple promises. Let me share it with you…

There are people in this world that will come after you and try to bring you down, telling you things that aren’t true. Or maybe you are finding yourself being held down by the scars and scrapes that have occurred in your life. You don’t have to be held captive to the lies unless you choose to be. You can be different, because you have a Maker.

You are special and perfect just the way you are. He loves you. He wants to heal your scars. He will steady your heart. All you have to do is trust and believe what He says. Do you?

Thank you for being the Lover and Healer of my soul, Lord. Continue on and steady my heart.

He is.

people let us down. people are not who they seem to be. people leave us.

But…
God will never let us down. God is who He says He is. God will never leave us.

We live in a fallen world full of sinners. It is a broken and messy place. Some have good intentions, others don’t. We have all found ourselves at a place where we needed someone. We needed their kind words, listening ears, or warm embrace. How many times have we found ourselves in that moment of utter desperation and find that someone isn’t picking up the phone, texting back, or even present. No one is perfect.
People are going to let us down.

But, there is One that is always ready and ever present. He is perfect. He has promised to be there listening with open arms. We are treasured and called His beloved. He wants us to come to Him before we even try to go to someone else. Let us not let the weight of burdens bear on us because we feel like no one is there. Give it to Him, tell Him, because He is.

finished...or am I?

As the midnight hour approaches to signal the end of my make-up free month, I have mixed feelings. I never expected an epiphany at the end. In ways, I actually could not wait for Feb 1st to get here and put that fun colorful palette on my face again. So the question of, "Will you wear make-up again?" is answered with a simple: Yes. Honestly, it has become less and less about the make-up though and more and more about the Lord using that simple thing to reveal deeper issues at hand. This is just the beginning of a season of purging, healing, and restoring for me.

My identity is not found in being a young, heterosexual, professional woman that comes from a broken family. It is so much more than that. God created me to be holy. Awesome idea, but after many failed attempts, I have realized that I can't "try" to be holy. I realize each day that the more I "try" to be holy and perfect, I actually slip farther away from really being those things. Merriam Webster defines holy as: "exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness." The key word there is complete devotion. When we are trying to be holy on our own accord, our devotion and focus is on ourselves. Looking back, a percent of me tried this make-up free idea in the hopes of growing closer to the Lord, or I could say "holy." Don't you love how the Lord does not work on our agenda? In the beginning, I was focused on myself and the actual act of what I was doing. As the weeks passed, I became less focused on what I was actually doing and hence, less focused on myself. It was a slow and still continual surrender of myself. I was able to exalt and put the devotion where it was meant to be...the one true and holy God. When we become recklessly abandoned to God and completely surrendered, the Lord is able to do His work and out of that comes a vessel set apart as beautiful and holy ready for their one job...to proclaim and glorify their Creator. When that comes, we will be reflecting the holiness of our holy God, whose image we were created in.

So the real question isn't whether I am wearing makeup again and finished with this journey...it's whether I am ready to continue on this journey and be that reflective vessel...The answer: YES!

men are not the problem.

"Men are not the problem; it's what we are trying to get from them that messes us up. Nothing is more baffling than our attempt to derive our womanhood from our men. We use guys like mirrors to see if we're valuable."

Beth Moore knew what she was saying when she wrote that line. It hit me like a 2 by 4 against my head. How many times have I taken security in a comment or compliment that was made by someone of the opposite sex? And then worse off, try to hold onto it? Or continue to do things or say something so that I could receive more?

Let's go back a little bit...I grew up in a house, where I did not have all of my father's attention and care. He was enveloped by substance abuse. I'm not a psychologist, but I think I am safe to say that I probably did not get or have a fully healthy father-daughter relationship. So factor #1: missing Daddio in ways that I really needed him.

This next part is a bit hard for me to admit, but since I'm all about being open and honest..it's coming out.
I grew up getting a lot of compliments on the way I looked. I feel vain even typing this, and it actually makes me want to gag. I'm ashamed to say that I began to take security in people's compliments about my physical appearance. I felt like it was one of the things I was "good at" or had going for me. I know these people mean well, but with factor #1...it's just boiling up to a nasty equation.

Before you start to think that I am blaming all my insecurities on other things or people, let me explain a bit more. I also have made a conscious choice to let these things affect me in the ways they have. Christ has broken those chains. I need to bask in his freedom and grace, but I have chosen not to at times. Factor #3.

These factors put together equal nothing good. They have led me to looking to guys for my security. This has been a huge struggle for me over the years. I look to them as my mirror. If they give a compliment, I feel good. If they don't, I begin to wonder and question myself. I have gone to the point of wearing things that I know they will like or make myself look a certain way, in order to get the compliment. It becomes manipulative on my part. This is not their fault, it is mine. I am looking to a person that is facing their own insecurities from the world for MY security and worth. People and men will disappoint me and fall below my expectations, but I serve a God that promises to never do that.

I am totally not to the point of having victory in this area, but I so desire and want this for myself. "I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never dissipates us for requiring it" (Moore).

Psalm 90:14
"Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days."

beautiful.

i never thought i would be posting a bethany dillon song on my page, but i am. it was playing on my pandora and as the lyrics played, i realized that this song has some real truth and honesty to it.

"Beautiful"

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

treasured possessions.

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." -Anonymous

Though some people feel the need to tell me. I did not go into this whole thing fishing for compliments or needing more attention. This year, I want to learn to see myself through God's eyes. The world surrounds me and other women with lies. They make us believe that we are not treasured for who we are. We'll be treasured if we do the things that we are told to do, look a certain way, and say the things that we ought to say. Satan enjoys throwing those lies in yours and my face.

Not wearing makeup for the first week was torturous. I went to my first big social outing and was kind of nervous. I am not going to lie, I felt a little self-conscious. Then I realized I had to stop focusing on myself. By the end of the night, I felt comfortable in who I was. This second week has been much better. I have actually forgotten about the fact that I am not wearing makeup at times and have started to recognize myself in the mirror again. This "giving up" makeup idea has made me realize what a selfish person I can be. I have quickly realized that I have to take my eyes off of myself and put them back onto the Lord.

Right now, I am trying to shave away at any insecurities I may have...One at a time. You might not think you have them, but you do. Try and think about some right now...possessions, finances, physical appearances, gifts/talents, personality, etc.
I know that God did not create me or you to be brought down with the lies that we are not good enough. We have complete and utter security in Christ. Satan would like nothing more than to make us think otherwise. A friend of mine reminded me of this the other day by saying, " we have the victory already, it's up to us, whether we want to experience it or not." Are you and I experiencing the victory and security that Christ has given us? Or are we allowing Satan, the world, and our sin to destroy it and try to take it away? God has set ME and YOU apart. We have been chosen. "For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth (v. 6)."

I think the "Anonymous" person got it wrong on that quote up there...I say we switch it up to say something like this:

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief and inner peace knowing that she is a treasured and beautiful possession created by God and for God."

Sike!

Well...that is what I really want to say to this whole make-up free month.
As I woke up this morning, groggy eyed, tossled hair, throbbing head and all, I realized that this would be one of my first real days without makeup. The last two days were spent in my house with family, so that really did not count. Today, was my first day back to school. Once I realized that the day had finally come, I was sick with anxiousness and insecurity. I felt like I wanted to make the rest of me look cute, in order to distract people from my face...Messed up thought of the day #1.
Don't' worry, these thoughts kept coming....

-Messed up thought #2 of the day: I arrived at work and wondered if the kids would come in saying something like, "You look weird today, or are you sick?" You know kids say the darnest things!

-Messed up thought #3 of the day: As I went throughout my day, I literally wanted to hide from people I knew. I didn't even want to look people in the eye when I talked to them, because I kept thinking that they were looking at me funny.

-Messed up thought #4 of the day: I felt like when I did talk to people that I wanted to tell them what I was doing, so that I had a good excuse to look the way I did.

-Messed up thought #5 of the day: When I finally went to the dreaded mirror and could not keep from going to the bathroom any longer...The first thing that came to my mind was that I looked like death.

-Messed up thought #6 of the day: I wanted to run to the bathroom like a drug addict and put on a wonderful and colorful palette of makeup on to my face. It was like I needed a hit and needed it bad. I some how found the self-control to fight the temptation.

-Messed up thought #7 of the day: I wanted to quit this whole thing.

-Messed up thought #8 of the day: I realized how much I had thought about myself today and what I looked like, which was sickening.

-Messed up thought #9 of the day: Found out I will be attending some events in the week to come and I am already trying to get out of them and dreading them.

Plan for tomorrow: Continue on....Focus on bigger and better things. This is going to be a llloooonnnggg month.

p.s. this is a picture to describe what I felt today...got this from a friend's blog, who is doing something similar.

perfection.

Get skinnier. Wear more makeup. Flirt more. Tighter clothes. Do whatever it takes to get boys attention. Have sex. Be PERFECT.

The world we live in has swamped girls young and old with the idea that we need the things above, in order to feel better about ourselves and be accepted. Basically....you must LOOK perfect, BE perfect, SAY the perfect things, and THINK perfectly to feel secure in our society. These ideas about what women should be, have come from movies, music, magazines, and other people in our lives...and they couldn't be more wrong. It is teaching women to be insecure with who they are and how they have been created. This has not only affected the "outside world" though....

Unfortunately, these ideas have infiltrated what is supposed to be the one place where IMPERFECT people come flawed and all...the church...But most are denying it or not even realizing they have become a slave to these things that the world says they should be.

And I am included in group. I want to make a change though. I want others to join me.


Insecurity has become like the plague to me. Insecurity about physical appearance, relationships, jobs, finances, future, etc. roll around in my head, come out of my mouth, and show through my actions at times. This has happened because I believe the lie that I have to be PERFECT. I am not perfect. But JESUS is. He is the only one that ever will be.

One specific area of insecurity I have is the thought of going without makeup for an extended amount of time. I have decided for the month of January to go make-up free. I realized that it has become a security blanket. It covers up my flaws. I feel more acceptable if I have it on. I feel like I look prettier with it on....I don't want to feel enslaved to something....So makeup-free it is.

I want to see myself through God's eyes. He created me just the way He wanted me.

This will not be an easy month. I will be updating the blog throughout this month long journey and let you know how it is going.

lord,
let me see beauty and perfection
through your eyes, not mine.
for you are the only one that is perfect and you made all things
just the way you desired.
refine and purify my heart.
inner and not outer.
in your matchless and perfect name,
amen.

hello 2012

2011...You were great....

1. Graduated MBI
2. Got a full-time teaching job at an awesome school
3. Bought a Car
4. Went to Greece and a few beautiful Greek islands
5. Amazing memories and time spent with family and friends
6. Supplied a place to live
7. Worked on being content
8. Tried to see everything I did as ministry
9. Began to see that I am far from perfect
10. Continued to see that I cannot do anything on my own


2012....I am so ready for you...Bring it on....

New Year. Beginnings. Fresh Start. Goals to be accomplished. People to see. Places to go. Things to learn. Ways to Grow.

1. Make my bed.
2. See relationships and myself through God's eyes.
3. Become a yogi again.
4. Less arguing, more grace.
5. Pick something new and try it...I have some ideas...
6. Have no expectations.
7. Cook a new recipe every two weeks...I need to be realistic :)
8. Go out West.
9. Grow in one content area to be a better teacher for my students.
10. Less of me, more of HIM.


Ready....Set....and I'm off....

Magnify the Lord

Have you ever found yourself ashamed or afraid to tell people about what the Lord is doing in your life? Or on the other hand, have you ever felt like you were talking too much about Him? Well let's get one thing straight...Never be ashamed and keep talking. I have been totally guilty of this...because sometimes one can lead to another. I adore talking about the Lord, my awesome Savior. I honestly could say I would not mind talking about Him, His Word, what He is doing in mine and others lives all day and every day. There have been times though, when I am doing this and I begin to feel insecure or ashamed..or feel the need to apologize to the person I am talking to, because I think maybe they don't want to hear it or are thinking that I need a life.

After the message at church today,I started thinking about all of this...
When we look at God's Word, we can see that we are created to GLORIFY HIM. Our thoughts, words, and actions should always be going straight back to the Lord. We should be taking our eyes off of the distracting situations, people, events in our life and look at them instead with our magnifying glass. God is in whatever thing you may be facing. When we look at it with our own futile immoral eyes, we are not able to see Him in it. He looks small. When we take our magnifying glass to it...all of a sudden God becomes a lot BIGGER. He becomes magnified and glorified in the things that we are looking at.

We have a choice. A magnifying glass has to be picked up. We have to make a conscious decision to see the Lord in each thing we face. We have a choice to allow Him to be glorified and magnified or to not be...

How do we do this?

1. "Bless the Lord at all times, his praise shall continually be in my mouth" (Psalm 34:1.
Are you blessing the Lord at all times? How often is his praise coming from your mouth? God has been faithful and good.

2. "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth" (Psalm 86:11).
How often are you soaking in God's Word? Do you know His Word well enough, so that it emanates from you? We can only know His ways, when we are reading His truth.

3. "...In order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever "(1 Pt. 4:11).
Do you know Jesus Christ? And not just about Him, but do you really know Him..in an intimate and personal way? We can only glorify God through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


All that to say...I'm going to keep talking about the Lord and let my soul boast in Him. I don't care what anyone says or thinks...I want to magnify Him! Who else is with me?

Day 1: Back in Action

I am back to Greece for the third time working for the same family as last year.
The kids were excited to see me and gave me big hugs when I arrived. They actually follow me around everywhere. Within 20 minutes of getting here, we all ate lunch. Tears and screaming came very soon afterwards and that's when I knew I was back. :)

I am dealing with some major anxiety and discontent (some of this could be jet lag...haha) right now with a few things in my life, including even being here. I'll just be open about that! I am reading and doing a devotional, "Calm My Anxious Heart," that I hope will put me back to the right mindset. I realized this morning that when you pray for something, that is usually when the Lord really tests you. For example, if you pray for patience, you will be having a situation coming your way that will call for a lot of patience. So I should expect that when praying to be more content and anxiety-free.

This story was in my devotional. I'll include it here:

Many years ago there was a monk who needed olive oil, so he planted an olive tree sapling. After he finished planting it, he prayed, "Lord, my tree needs rain so it's tender roots may drink and grow. Send gentle showers." And the Lord sent gentle showers. Then the monk prayed, "Lord, my tree needs sun. Please send it sun." And the sun shone gilding the once dripping clouds. "Now send frost dear Lord to strengthen it's branches," cried the monk. And soon the little tree was covered in sparkling frost, but by that evening it had died.

Then the monk sought out a brother monk in his cell and told him of the strange experience. After hearing the story, the other monk said, "I too have planted a little tree. See how it is thriving! But I entrust my tree to it's God. He who made it knows better than a man like me what it needs. I gave God no constraints or conditions, except to pray, "Lord, send what it needs - be it sunshine, wind, rain or frost. You made it and You know what it needs."



Lord,you know what I need. So I pray that you would supply that!

Agios Nikolaus

We were about 5 minutes from this lovely sea port town. It was very cute and quaint! I got to go a couple times to walk around, eat, and shop! It was nice to get away from the hotel a couple times. :)


The little lake in the middle of the town. They said that the goddess Athena used to bathe in this lake. It was thought to be bottomless until Jacques Cousteau got to the bottom of it.


Some boats in the water


A cute lil church we saw!


As you can see, it was really windy! They need to call Crete, the windy city!

Ancient Civilizations

On my day off in Crete, I got to have a touristy adventure with Ashlen. We took a tour bus to the Palace of Knossos. It is one of the first and oldest Minoan civilizations in Europe; it was very cool to see and imagine people walking around there at one time. One thing I found really interesting was that archaeologists have discovered the Minoans were a peaceful people group because they have not found any fortress or fortification walls or anything else to make them think that they were ever in war or fighting with others. After the tour of Palace, we jumped back on the bus and went to a grape and olive farm. It is not harvesting time yet, so we didn't get to see them actually pick the grapes and olives but we did get to watch a video, try some good wine, and buy some awesome olive oil. After that, we got back on the bus and went to the capital of Crete, which is Iraklio, and got lunch and walked around and looked at the shops. It was a two hour bus ride back to our hotel, so we were slept on the way back since we were pretty tired from a busy day of touring Crete.


Getting ready to go!


Welcome to the Palace of Knossos


View from the Palace


One of the Palace buildings


Oldest paved road in Europe


Fresco of Minoan women

Living the Cretan Life

We arrived in Crete on the 12th and got back to Athens on the 26th. It was a wonderful two weeks but very tiring. I was a little worried going into this trip after being soo drained from Mykonos, but this was much better because we were at a really nice resort...that the family I am working for actually owns. It was great because we did not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, etc...We could just concentrate on the kids! Crete is not like a lot of the other Greek islands with the white and blue houses but it has its own beauty. It is a little more rustic looking with amazing blue waters. Cretan people have one of the longest life expectancies because of their diet and lifestyle so I did get to experience a bit of that while I was there...Well kind of....I did eat some of the Cretan food, very yummy...but....I think I scared some of the Greeks with my eating habits..haha. The resort had a buffet and I did not know how to control myself. And...Greeks eat practically nothing for dinner..maybe a piece of fruit...I kept trying to tell them that Americans eat a lot for dinner to justify my portion size. :)

We spent most of our day at the beach and then back at our own pool by our hotel room. There was entertainment at night that the kids and I enjoyed, but it also meant that I was with them till midnight every night...pretty late! There were two other American girls working with Greek families there and that was really nice to have. We got to sightsee together one day and hang out and do things with the kids together. Oh another cool thing...we went to another hotel a little farther down from ours in Eloundtha. This hotel was AMAZING! they had Greek night with dancing and lots of Greek food. Also found out that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt stayed at this hotel...Wow! I might have to use that one once in a while! haha

Here are some pictures!

View from our room


Sand castle pro with Ashlen, the other American. What are the chances that are names are really similar?!? By the way, the kids definitely left us to do this on our own half way through...pretty good if you ask me...


I let the kids bury me...There was sand everywhere!

Crete

I just got to Crete, the largest island of Greece...and yes, you guessed it...It is beautiful! Just wanted to let you know though...Internet costs a ton, so won't be writing much for the next two weeks. I'll post a bunch when I get back...

You can be praying though...

-Continue to be a light to the family and that I would be able to serve them and just let Christ shine through me
-Exhaustion..Yes, I am on an island but playing with kids all day does get tiring :)
-The nanny and I have become really close...So I hope to just continue building that relationship even more! Also, there is another au pair from America I will be hanging with, so pray for her, too!
-That I can enjoy my time here even though I am working. It can be difficult sometimes going to all these really nice ritzy places and wishing my family could have money or do these type of things...I do not want to be jealous or cynical

Ok, love you all lots!! Will post again in a couple week probably! :) xoxox

You Like Me...You really like me...

A flashback of a Sally Field's acceptance speech for an award in the 70's ran through my mind when I got an approval that the family likes me...."You like me, you really like me!" If you don't know the Greek culture...Let me give you a little tidbit. When you first meet a Greek (not in all cases), you will probably think that they do not like you and they can come across kind of standoffish, while somehow still being very very hospitable. My first time here, I thought this one Greek woman hated me and then by the end of the semester, i found out I was one of her favorite Americans. So this time around...I was not sure how I was doing with the lady that I work for. My job description had been so vague and I was hoping that I was doing enough but she had not really said anything so I was not sure and I was wanting to lean to the side that she did not like me. One night though, I was talking to Maria, the nanny, and she said she wants me to come back every summer...That was really nice of her to say! But then I told her that I was not sure if Anna, the mom, liked me. She informed me that she sees me playing and doing things with the kids and that she likes me, but I was not 100% convinced. The next morning, I was thinking to myself that I am kind of a "words of affirmation" person and that it would be so nice if Anna would just say one thing to let me know that I was doing enough or doing a good job. Well, maybe 30 min later, Anna and I are talking. She out of the blue says, that it was such a good thing to have an English teacher here this summer and that she wants me to come back every summer. Wow! Well, I would say that's a pretty good approval. She told me to think about it and let her know. Now I am not sure if I would come back again for the whole summer but it is definitely an option. So that is an answered prayer that they approve of me and that I am doing a good job!

Your Love Oh Lord

"Your love, oh Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings"

One starry night in Mykonos, I was reminded of this song as I sat on a ledge and looked out over the mountains and the sea. Creation screams the name of our Maker (Rom 1: 19-20) and how anyone can deny He exists when they look at such beauty, I will never know!
He is faithful, righteous, and just. Those three attributes sum Him up. No matter what, He is always faithful. No matter what, He is always righteous. No matter what, He is always just. His faithfulness is so great, that it stretches to the sky. His righteousness is like a rock, or a mountain. It is firm and steady. His justice flows in like the ocean tide. There is no doubt that the tide will come in, just like his justice will come.

We worship you Lord when we look at your creation because you are majestic and worthy to be praised!

"When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?

Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under his feet..." (Psalm 8)